If that was your dad, he is hot
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
