I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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