we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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