i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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