Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
