Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Randomize
