i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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