He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
