We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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