This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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