love makes seman taste better
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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