Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
