i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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