wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she told me i tasted like america
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
