At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
