He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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