You're my little dorito
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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