Her vagina should come with caution tape.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
