Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
