How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
there's paper in my vomit.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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