the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My life is pants optional.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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