Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
