the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
