I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
