This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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