So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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