Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
