Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
