Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize