Barsexuality is the new black.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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