you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
worst night to have a conscience
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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