It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
