Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Randomize
