If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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