ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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