How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
And then my night got REAL pukey
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
