I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
