So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So much rum. So many feels.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
