I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
did you just send me my own nude
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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