Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I got chris browned last night
You're completely useless in the revolution.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
