You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
