You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
