EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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