just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
