My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
