i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
