I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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