I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
