i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
