I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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