I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
