Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
