dude i'm inner monologue high
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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