This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Even my vagina gasped.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
