Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
