I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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