Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize