you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I forget how to act sober
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
