i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
