She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
