HIV tests are more positive than that guy
time to smoke my breakfast
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
